Confession: I am a hypocrite

I guess it’s time for me to come clean and admit that I am a hypocrite. Maybe I’m not the worst kind of hypocrite, but a hypocrite just the same.

Let me give you some examples:

I am not a churchgoer. My belief in any god ranges between a being a raging agnostic and an unconvinced atheist. But I say, “God bless you,” when someone sneezes and I still want to tell a friend who is sick or in trouble that he has my “prayers and good wishes” – even though I don’t pray and don’t believe in wish-fulfillment.

I don’t believe in heaven or hell. But I still want to assure someone who has lost a loved one that they have gone “to a better place.” When someone cuts in front of me on the freeway and nearly forces my compact car under the wheels of a big truck, I often loudly proclaim and sincerely wish that the other driver would go “straight to hell!” I’m a hypocrite because deep down I really wish there was a “lake of fire” waiting for child molesters, serial killers, and Bernie Madoff.

I don’t believe in “angels” or “demons.” But I believe in “good” and “evil.”

I’m a hypocrite because I don’t believe in capital punishment – but I firmly support extreme vigilante justice whenever it involves some evil bastard who hurts someone I love or care about.

When I was a Republican I was convinced that ALL Democrats were spendthrifts, liars, corrupt, and firmly in the control of corporate lobbyists, the Mafia, and agnostics – and ALL powerful Democrats cheated on their wives or were secretly gay. Now that I tend to vote Democratic, I am sure that ALL Republicans are corrupt, liars, racist, neo-Nazis, and owned by corporate lobbyists and Bible-thumping creationist-gay-baiting evangelicals.

Oh yeah – I almost forgot – ALL powerful Republicans cheat on their wives or are secretly gay. I guess that makes me a hypocrite.

I want America’s automobile, manufacturing, and energy industries to grow and prosper and create lots of new jobs to help America’s economy. But I drive an old Toyota Camry and an old Mazda – because I lost trust in American made cars back in the 1980s and still haven’t gotten over it. I’m a hypocrite because the next car I buy will probably be an electric plug-in Toyota hybrid made in Japan.

I’ve been a long-time fan of Bill Maher and love some of the things he does during his HBO TV show – especially “New Rules.” On the other hand, when I’m actually watching his show I hate the fact that most of his jokes fall flat and he is often the only one laughing at them. I also hate that he often invites blowhards, self-important intellectuals, and rap stars to join his panels. Usually, the only credible guest on the panel can’t get a word in edge-wise. His best shows have had only two guests that are conversant on the subject at hand, but he rarely uses that format. Sometimes his positions are so far out that all I can do is shake my head and wonder why I waste my time watching his show.

Bill Maher: “I don’t believe in vaccines…”

So even though I can’t stand his jokes, dislike most of his guest panels, hate his writers (of which he is one), and want to bang my head against the wall after watching his show – I’m a hypocrite because I still watch him every Friday night.

I’m still happy that Obama is our president, even though his real accomplishments while in office have been few. He certainly has not lived up to the hype, but I still like him a lot. Even if he doesn’t fulfill all of his campaign promises I’ll still be a hypocrite and vote for him again in three years.

Lastly, even though I have bared my soul and deepest secrets to the readers of JustOneOpinion.com, I doubt that I will change my ways at this late stage of my life. I am firmly convinced that you should change your ways and make a better life for yourselves, but I’m happy being the way I am now.

I guess that is the height of my hypocrisy…

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